Feminism: The Lonely Option?

          A conundrum has appeared to me. My friend, Truffles, and I were discussing the new Hunger Games movie (It’s awesome). Of course, the Peeta-Gale debate came up. I claimed Team Peeta, but Truffles asked if it would be more feminist for Katniss to be by herself instead.

            For some reason, this left a bad taste in my mouth and prompted me to hit my blog. It seems like a pretty sound theory. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle and all that shit. However, a feminist is still a person and most people (not just women, although that it is stressed more in our society) desire close connections with other people. Close connections that usually sometimes include romantic or sexual aspects. To suggest that Katniss (or any other fictional character or person in general) give up this basic human want to satisfy a feminist policy is absurd.

            Love triangles in general don’t lend themselves well to feminism (something I may cover in another post). We could squabble about which choice fits our particular brand of feminism, but I just wanted to take a moment to point out the flaws in the third option. I understand this is tricky terrain to walk around in and may the odds be forever in your favor.

Nerdy Valentines

I made these for my friends, and I hope everyone had a good v-day.

Brokeback Mountain

     I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I happen to live in the South. Rednecks are part of the local wildlife and the easiest way to aggitate them is to simply mention a little film known as Brokeback Mountain. This will usually result in said redneck responding, "Fuck that shit. I don't want to see two motherfuckers kiss." (They're not the most eloquent demographic).
     This got me thinking. They're gay. The last person they're going to want to kiss is a mother. Wouldn't calling them fatherfuckers, be more appropriate?

     These people have no concept of political correctness, I swear.

In unrelated news, I learned how to add pictures to my blog. And the union between two attractive people is hot, no matter what their gender.

2011 In Review

   A new year has begun. Traditionally, this is the time to reflect on the good times of last year and the promise of the year to come. However, no one ever said I was traditional so I can safely say that 2011 was a pretty . . . eventful year (I'm unsure how it falls on my shitfest to fucking-awesome meter). In no particular order, I . . .

1. Lost my best friend (in the she acted all bitchy and I stopped being friends with her, not the 'passed away kind of lost)
2. Got my first kiss (at eighteen. Don't judge me)
3. Graduated high school.
4. My wrecked car was fixed and returned to me.
5. Got a 4.0 GPA for my first semester of college. (Totally bragging right now)
6. Got myself a job.
7. Accidentally cut myself a lot at said job
8. Decided "what I want to do when I grow up"
9. Saw the Lion King in 3D!
10. Joined a writer's workshop and produced some of my best short stories there.

   You know, I initially looked on the past year with some major pessimism (number 1 was kinda traumatic) but most of those things are good things. Even the things I didn't include because I thing ten is the perfect list number. Good to know that my brain is doing a good job of repressing bad memories.

Hell's Roster

            I truly believe there is something fundamentally wrong with telling someone (no matter who that person is) they are going to hell. It is scientifically inaccurate (probably), dehumanizing, and just not very nice. The following story will demonstrate a . . . less general reason for this pet peeve of mine.

             When I was little, my mom answered the door to see a recruiting preacher. He asked her if we went to church, a standard question. She told him no, the truth. The preacher then proceeded to inform her that she had condemned my sister and I (too young to even remember this incident) to hell. The number one way to get on my Shit List is to make my mother cry and this “holy man” had the audacity to do that on our property. I’m pissed just thinking about it.

            However, I recently discovered a group of people that I truly believe are going to hell. Before I earn my hypocrite label, let me explain. These people are drug dealers who surgically implant drugs into puppies in order to smuggle them. Most of the time, the puppies don’t survive the removal process. I will gladly put aside any and all of my moral convictions when faced with a dead puppy.

The Ocean

I hope you had a very merry christmas. I'm playing with the tone of this blog so I prepared this slightly more serious, slice-of-life kind of thing. Hope you like it.

            My parents took my sister and me to Florida in the summer of 2009. This included the mandatory beach trip. This wasn’t the first time I saw the ocean. That happened in junior high. I got pulled out of school to visit my uncle to help him through the wake of his roommate and/or best friend’s suicide.

            Despite it being somewhere between February and March, my sister and I received boogie boards to arm us against the waves of the freezing ocean. I tried my best to boogie board, but my knees quickly suffered for all my efforts. The board cut under a wave instead of floating on top, carrying me with it. The undercurrent trapped me under the surface as I felt the rhythm of the waves burying me deeper. My father pulled me from this hell, my nostrils and throat burning with the sea salt.

            It’s amazing how almost drowning can affect someone’s opinion of the beach. I didn’t return to the ocean until the aforementioned trip in 2009. I mediated on my prior experience as I stood in the middle of the Atlantic, water chest-high. I also thought about all the poetry that had been read into the ocean. Its fickle temperament and its status as a symbol for freedom and independence. I thought back to all the authors who had looked at this same body of water (probably) and saw something spectacular in it.

            Personally, I was bored out of my skull.

The Sims Unrated

            The Sims 3 is a popular simulation game suitable for all ages. However, I believe that this (somewhat) family friendly premise stops this from displaying some of the more interesting (fun) aspects of life. Sure you can woohoo (sex for the uninitiated) in the bed, hot tub, shower  and elevator if you fancy, but that still leaves out such important facets of life such as . . .

1.      Masturbation: Why should sexual activity be limited to those with partners? Sometimes the right sim just never comes along. Maybe they’re waiting for marriage but still horny as fuck. Maybe you as the creator just enjoy watching digital people touch themselves in the special place.

2.      Second Base: I think it is extremely unfair that (outside of woohoo (which we don’t get to watch)) these sims are forced to keep their hands in appropriate places. Besides that, I always saw second base as having two main purposes. First, as a sort of test drive for further activity. If you’re uncomfortable with the guy’s hand on your boob, he probably shouldn’t venture further. Second base also gives teenaged boys a more manageable goal when sex is definitely off the table.

3.      Oral Sex: I do not have structured arguments like the ones above (although I have heard rumors about semen being good for your hair or something). I think oral sex would add variety and make the game more interesting in general. Sims have a right to be able to mix it up in the bedroom, just like real-life people can. Besides, straight woohoo (the positions are even the same every time) is bound to get boring after a little while.

4.    Sperm donors: I believe sperm donors would add many benefits to the Sims universe just as they enhance this world, God bless the masturbating bastards and their joysticks. Lesbian sims would have the option of pregnancy and all that entails without relying on adoption to grow their families. The fellas would also benefit from this in the form of easy money which always comes in handy (pun intended).

Not too bad for my first post with actual content to it. I've got more than enough material ready for

a follow-up post on this same topic, but I'd love to hear your suggestions!