Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hell's Roster

            I truly believe there is something fundamentally wrong with telling someone (no matter who that person is) they are going to hell. It is scientifically inaccurate (probably), dehumanizing, and just not very nice. The following story will demonstrate a . . . less general reason for this pet peeve of mine.

             When I was little, my mom answered the door to see a recruiting preacher. He asked her if we went to church, a standard question. She told him no, the truth. The preacher then proceeded to inform her that she had condemned my sister and I (too young to even remember this incident) to hell. The number one way to get on my Shit List is to make my mother cry and this “holy man” had the audacity to do that on our property. I’m pissed just thinking about it.

            However, I recently discovered a group of people that I truly believe are going to hell. Before I earn my hypocrite label, let me explain. These people are drug dealers who surgically implant drugs into puppies in order to smuggle them. Most of the time, the puppies don’t survive the removal process. I will gladly put aside any and all of my moral convictions when faced with a dead puppy.

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